I wish my soulmate didn't think I was some horrible woman who likes jerks and who just wrote to him to laugh at him being full of love and just out to friend him for his poetry." Wish granted! :-)
Your soulmate now thinks you are a wonderful person who only likes kind, decent people. In fact, he thinks you're so wonderful he recites his poetry outside your balcony 2am in the morning! It's shameful, dogs howl endlessly, possums fall from trees and frustrated cats leap onto his head to stop him from reciting. Your neighbour eventually chases him away from your home, waving a broom at him yelling, "And NEVER recite poetry that loudly ever again while I'm having my beauty sleep!!"
I wish that Metallica would write a musical that incorporates barn dancing. :D
Granted. It's so popular that multi millionaires have decided to cash in to it and now instead of being free it now costs 5,000 dollars per wish post and is so cliquey that even Hollywood stars feel out of place posting on corrupted_wish and it starts all getting even more out of hand because ordinary people start committing suicide over not being popular enough to post on corrupted_wish. Meanwhile apps for Android and iphone have become available with a trade -off namely that if you want to have it all you have to sign the small print and sell your soul to the Devil for a shot of Baileys and a balaclava, which unfortunately most people end up doing against their will as they can't be bothered to read the small print properly and are faced with a rude surprise when the Devil comes to get his own.
I wish my Soul-mate didn't think I was some horrible woman who likes jerks and who just wrote to him to laugh at him being full of Love and just out to friend him for his poetry.
Happy 2012, corrupted_wish. Gee. You were such a bright idea that I and others came across and joined in. But now you're like a childhood game of scrabble or monopoly, untouched. And yet, it's such a shame. You're such an outlet for craziness, such a cure for boredom and the everyday. So I'll make a wish backwards once again, the way you ask us to and ask that no-one ever posts here again, hoping that instead, loads of people do. Go on, little site, do your magic. :D Live and be glorious! Post a wish, someone, if you're with me! Lets get operation ' Corrupted_Wish Regeneration' off the ground!
buffyaddict cured all cancer by developing a fleet of nanobots that targeted rapidly mutating cells. Unfortunately the nanobots could not distinguish between cancerogenous mutations and Meiosis, in cases where the host was not already undergoing Meiosis when the nanabots took hold: every prepubescent child on earth.
All of humanity gradually became infertile as nanabots attacked the Meiosis process they don't recognize as child hosts enter puberty. By the time the problem was realised, everyone had been contaminated.
The last of humanity died alone and in neglect; there weren't enough robots per seniors and eventually everyone was so old that nobody could maintain the robots needed to maintain them in lieu of new young people. The last of humanity died in its own waste, having long forgotten the laughters of children.
Granted! Temperatures all over the world begin to drop by the hour. Small bodies of water turn completely to ice, followed by larger ones and eventually the ocean. People begin freezing to death left and right. It gets so cold that rain turns to solid shards of ice before it hits the ground, killing even more people. There is no food, because all the crops froze, and even animals like bears become sparse. Most people starve to death, but a few turn to cannibalism. What's left of your family turns on you first, deciding to eat you to keep themselves alive. Unfortunately, your family has become too savage to even be humane and kill you first, and you are eaten alive.
Just like a scene out of the movie "Tangled," your hair is over 70 feet long and capable of being used as a swing to escape dangerous situations and haul grown men up to your bedroom, should you choose. However, just like a DELETED scene from the movie "Tangled," your hair is an absolute matted disaster and full of dirt, twigs, and small animals (how unfortunate for them) because there is no hair brush or comb on the planet capable of taking on that mop currently resting on your head! You struggle with every single day-to-day activity:
You have a live-in plumber to de-clog all of your drains daily, and boy is he expensive! You have to wear a life-vest every time you wish to swim, because heavens is your hair heavy when it gets wet, and it will sink you to the bottom of the river if given the opportunity! Want to ride in a convertible? Forget it! Your hair is considered a driving hazard by the local police department, and you are forbidden from driving with the windows down because your hair blocks the vision of other drivers on the road. And we haven't even begun talking about your aching back and neck from carrying around all of that weight...
Looks like you'd best get yourself into a salon for a hair cut, and quick!
Now the people at your workplace are TOO pleasant. You arrive at work and everyone is smiling unnaturally widely. Everyone speaks too nicely to you, using hokey language. It's like a scene out of The Stepford Wives, except the men are doing it too. So it's really creepy. You try to ignore the weirdness, but they flock around you like sharks around chum. They will convert you to one of them, or kill you in the attempt. You'd better run while you still can.
I wish I could get past my sort-of writer's block.
Granted! The bubble gum makers create a fantastic fart sound bubble gum. It makes extraordinary noise when popped. The flavor, well that is a surprise as well. These ingenious candy makers have created a concoction that interacts with the CO2 in the users breath. When bubble blowers add a puff of air to the offending bubble, the flavor crystals are activated and in seconds the gum flavor mimics the fart theme! The fart noise is accompanied by the horrid flavor of moldy cheese, old beer, and pinto beans. Hooray! The bubble blowers are punished, as is everyone within olfactory range. It is a pungent gum! While the bubblers gag on the flavor, YOU are privileged to enjoy the odor of hundreds of gaseous excretions!
I wish the people at my new job were more pleasant.
Done! Your family starts making an enormous fuss about your birthday. All of your relatives arrive at your birthday, including the ones you love to hate. They all arrive dressed up for your Buffy themed party. Trouble is, everyone is wearing the same Buffy costume, including yourself. It pisses you off that your most hated relatives are dressed as the character you love the most. Your brother hires a DJ who ends up playing awful remixes of the songs that you love. Finally, your mother's enormous strawberry cake ends up being splattered all over the floor after the DJ crashes into it.
"Let's go mini golfing!" yells Uncle Harry.
"No! How about to the movies?"
"I want to go to that funky new restaurant that just opened!" says Aunt Judith. Sour tempers fly, and everyone ends up in a massive fight over what to do. Bits of food, cutlery and cups are flying everywhere...you've ended up with a massive food fight on your hands!
As if that wasn't enough, your cousins brought some gatecrashers who end up pissed drunk and smashing the crockery. One of them tries to kiss you, but ends up kissing the DJ instead. This results in a grotesque make out session between the gatecrasher and the DJ (who is pretty smashed by then).
"OUT!" You yell. "Everybody OUT!"
Sirens blare in he background. What the heck?
Two burly police officers with badges sharp enough to slice bread pop up on your doorstep. Turns out that your neighbours were so traumatised by the racket your partygoers (and gatecrashers) made they called the cops!
Looks like you're going to need a boatload of patience (and luck) to explain things to the police!
I wish that all the people who attended my old church would become superheroes.